Lies and Fabrication
by Chirinah
Summary: There are lies in my mouth, and everything I see are mere fabrications of my own mind. But I do know one truth. I love you, and I'm never letting go.


I just found these in my files. Len/Rin that's kinda, sorta incest and yanderish. It's not complete, and I'm still not sure what to do with it so I'm posting, hoping to see some insights from like minds. Not edited in the least, so there maybe so,e typos and inconsistencies.

Do you know?

I. **Everyone knows.**

My brother is like a star that shines brighter than most. _I love him more than anyone._

He has it all: intelligence, strength and beauty. He's a really nice person. He has a smile that can make criminals run back to the arms of God, and he's often seen helping out people in need from a girl who's picking up fallen flyers to an old man crossing the street. He is like an _angel_ sent directly from heaven.

Everybody knows this.

 **My brother and I are close.**

We go to school together every morning and go home together in the afternoon. We help each other out in a lot of things. We study together and fill the gaps in our best and worst subjects. He really likes Literature, but he's not all that good in Math nor Science. He cooks my lunch and I take care of his clothes. We tell each other everything and we never lie.

 **He never lies to me.**

We know each other like the back of our hands. All the things we love and all the things we hate, all the things we want to do and all the dreams we want to achieve. We know this.

Everybody knows this.

My brother is an angel. Pure, bright and optimistic. He's honest and caring, he'll never look at you with disdain even you are born the most hideous creature in the world. He's strong and protective and has firm convictions in life.

He's my complete opposite, and yet, he's my other half.

 **We are one.**

We were one when we were kids, when we were in elementary school, when we were in middle school and now that we are in high school. We will always be one. That's our promise to each other.

 **We won't leave each other behind.**

Everyone knows that.

 **II. He's mine.**

Lucas and I have been together even before we were born. We share a room to this day, go to the same school, attend the same classes, and join the same extra-curricular activities. From kindergarten until yesterday, we have always gone home together.

So, "Tell me again why you can't come with me?"

He has the mind to look shameful at least. He looks everywhere but me, face and neck reddening from embarrassment. A hundred pairs of eyes were on to us, probably wondering why the 'shy and quiet younger sister' suddenly looks like a carnivore out to kill.

"Uh, that's because," Lucas stutters. He takes a few seconds to think of his next words. He knows he has to be careful lest I get completely angry. "It's—"

"Lucas!" a girl yells from the direction of the school.

I narrow my eyes. We are currently at the school gate because Lucas told me specifically that "Mrs. X wants me to stay after school for my Literature project so I can't go home with you today". It's like that so I decided to wait for him but then, this happens. He comes out of the school carrying a really shiny pink bag that obviously isn't his and isn't mine either. No proper teacher will think of placing Literature papers in _there._

Did he lie to me? He obviously has. That's not completely unthinkable, really, if the person who called for him isn't a teacher but is, in fact, a pretty girl who likes him.

Like that big-breasted red head who's currently running breathlessly towards our direction, making a lot of horny teenage boys drool for her juggling melons.

Ha! I smirk at my foolish brother. "So you can lie to me now? That's a really big improvement, _brother,"_ I say venomously.

Lucas' eyes are wide as saucers. He starts waving his hands frantically, "No! No, you got it wrong! I didn't want to l-lie to you! It's just—it's just that—"

 _"Heh,"_ I smile sadly.

In any other situation, right now I'll be laughing my ass out **. I'm his sister, after all.** What are sisters if not cruel to their brothers? His panicky face is extremely hilarious. However, I really feel bad right now. My chest hurts and it's starting to get really hard to breath. For some reason I know perfectly, I really feel like crying, too.

I see the blood drain from Lucas' face. See? We really do know each other.

I'm sure he knows how awful I must be feeling right now. I mean, what will he feel if I lie to him in order to talk to a boy who looks like he wants to be my lover? I think he'll cry.

But, actually, if I think about it, this scenario isn't that bad yet. We are still at school. He hasn't gone out with anyone yet and he has only asked me if he can. If I say he can't I'm sure he'll follow me home like a well-trained puppy.

Then again, would a loving sister actually do that? I'm supposed to play the role of a shy and cute little sister after all. Do I have any right to stop him? He's a healthy sixteen year old boy transcending from childhood to the world of adult. At this stage, **social life is very important.**

 _Isn't it?_

A healthy teenage boy will be worrying about friends and sports and girlfriends at this time…

 **That's normal.** Lying to a sister with extreme brother-complex is considered normal too….

I'll really hate that, though.

Thinking these contradictory thoughts are making my head spin and Lucas seems to have noticed.

"Serena," Lucas calls me out of my deep thoughts. His face shows his concern. "Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?"

If you disregard my painful chest, stinging eyes and spinning, yes, I'm alright.

Still, isn't this a good reason to stop him from going with that girl, who is, by the way, beside us already, all sweaty and red faced from all that running.

I know her because she's been in the same class as Lucas and I since third grade. Elisa Guggenheim, her father is some sort of foreign businessman and her mother is our mother's childhood friend who works as an executive in their family's hotel line.

She has been eyeing Lucas for year and even tried befriending me because "a bride should get along with her grooms family members". I rejected her of course. There's no way I'd like a natural airhead like her to be my brother's bride. She has no class whatsoever.

I glare at her coldly before turning meek and sickly using the acting skills I gained from years of lying to my parents. "My head's a bit painful, Lu," I smile sadly. "It's alright, though, you don't have to come with me. I'll be alright on my own. You can go with Elisa if you want. I'm sure the maids will be taking care of me even if Mother and Father won't be coming home until tomorrow."

I take a sideway glance to the girl and as expected, she's actually believing me. Her eyes are so wide it must be painful, her mouth is gaping too. She says, "Oh no! It's alright, Lu! We can watch that movie anytime. It'll be airing for a month anyway, I just really wanted to watch it today…" She sighs regretfully, then adds, "it's really alright though! Your sister is more important. We can all just watch it together once she gets well." She forces out a smile and hurries out of the scene.

I smirk. The idiot. I know this day must be special for her if she takes the courage to ask my brother after years of simply watching from the sidelines.

Still, as long as I'm alive I'm not giving Lucas to anyone.

I didn't _become_ his sister just so he can be grabbed by some girl.

 **He's mine.**

 **III. Do you hate me?**

"Honest, Serena! I'm being honest here! I knew that you wouldn't like me to go with a girl so I said that the teacher asked me to be left behind, since Elisa seems really sad. Her parents are abroad, you see, and she's really sad because it's her birthday…"

I nonchalantly change the channel of the TV and take a bite from the delicious chocolate cookies Lucas baked for me. I can tell from the loud groan that Lucas is getting frustrated. I've been ignoring him for three days both at home and at school.

He has been apologizing non-stop, giving me expensive gifts and making me eat delicious food, even doing my homework for me. I accept everything, it will be a waste not to since Lucas is usually an "if you don't do it yourself, how will you learn?" type of person so he rarely does my homework for me. He does teach me how to do them, though. He's obviously a living saint.

The truth is, I'm not actually angry. I'm just hurt that he thought he can lie to me. Does he not know that I know everything about him? He's my twin, even if we are complete opposite in every aspect. **I know him inside out.** And besides, **this has never happened before.** I can't help but wonder why he would lie for such a stupid reason. If the girl wants company, she can ask for anyone or he can ask me to come too, since a two person getaway can't be considered a party. It makes me feel extremely awful thinking about the idea of the two of them being in love.

I really, really hate it.

I don't like the idea of Lucas loving another girl outside of Mother and me, it makes me want to get a knife and commit murder. Really, it's awful.

Lucas sits beside me and leans his head on my shoulder. I keep my gaze steadily on the boring show.

Lucas sighs, "Sis, I won't do it again. I won't ever lie to you, and if you want me break it off with her, I will do it too. Just-"

"Wait!"

Okay, let's rewind that.

 _"Sis, I won't do it again. I won't ever lie to you, and if you want me break it off with her, I will do it too. Just—"_

—if you want me to break it off with her….

What the hell did that mean?

"Lucas," I say slowly, still facing the TV. Lucas is looking at me now. "Say 'yes' if I'm right, or 'no' if I'm wrong, okay? Listen, clearly, tell me because I'm extremely confused right now and I so want to _hurt_ someone—"he flinches. "Break it off with her, does this mean that the two of you are together? Like-like, boyfriend-girlfriend?"

He hesitates for a second. "Uh, yes, she's my girlfriend." One vein pops. "But, you didn't know? I thought you—"

I slump on the floor and takes my head inside my hands. My heart is throbbing so hard I can feel it in my ears. My eyes sting and my whole body is trembling. I feel like a girl who experiences her first heartbreak. I can't think. Lucas' voice, the sound of the Television, even my harshly beating heart—they are all reduced to a buzzing in my ears. My brain can't seem to process it. It's like time has stopped and all I can feel is the pain in my heart and the tears that are gathering in my eyes.

I didn't know. I didn't know. There was no way I could have known. The two of them are dating? And he never told me? What does this mean? What on earth does this mean? Was that 'no lies and no secrets' promise all just my fabrication? Am I just a plain sister? Am I not special to Lucas at all? Does he not care about me? Has he always been lying?

Right. When did he start lying to me? Since that time in grade school when he told me that he's meeting a friend in the arcade and told me not to come because I will be bored anyway? I really, really like arcades. Or was it in middle school? Did he lie when he told me that he had club meetings every Saturday so we can't play together? Were all those lies? Did he…did he…did he actually…

"Serena. Serena. Serena! Hey, what's happening? Are you shocked? I'm sorry, I thought you knew. I didn't mean to keep it a secret. It's just that, everyone knew so I thought you would too… Serena? Serena?"

Lucas, Lucas is calling me. His voice is frantic and loud. It hurts my ears. But my tears have fallen and I'm slumping on the floor like a pathetic girl. The past is winding behind my eyes like an extremely old, and extremely long movie. Somehow, I can see it clearly. All the after school games he played, all the outing he went to, all the smiles he gave to other girls. I can see him, has he always been such a social person? The Lucas in this movie doesn't seem to treat me like he's treating me now. He's shouting, he's glaring… Did he hate me? Was I not his beloved twin sister? I thought for sure he loved me more than anyone else…

Was that…was that a lie too?

Lucas, do you actually hate me?

 **IV. Blood and bread knife**

It's happening again. It's happening again. It's happening again!

Lucas doesn't know what to do. His sister, Serena, is sitting on the floor, hands hanging limply down her sides and face so blank yet so full of tears. She hasn't said a word in an hour. He has called for their parents, who are both out of town, and they are on their way home right now, after instructing him to call for the family doctor who hasn't come yet.

He doesn't know what to do. His hands and knees are trembling so bad, he can't even stay on his feet. What should he do? What should he do?

It's happening again.

The memory of two years ago is painful for him. He has tried so hard to keep that part of his past within the deepest part of his mind where he can't reach it. Her tearful face and bloody hands, they are horrors that he never wants to remember again and yet… And yet he does.

 **The tiny bread knife in her trembling hands was completely covered in blood.**

It was her birthday, and she has clearly expressed the gift she wanted. "I want to go the Disney with everyone!" She was so excited. She had her favorite dress and favorite shoes all prepared. She was a good girl for the whole week. She stopped pestering me at school and even tried helping around the house. She studied more diligently too, and never bothered me even if she found the lessons extremely hard. She was always smiling and easily laughing at the maids' jokes who she normally worked like slaves. She got along well with everyone, even at school and even stopped ignoring her teachers' instructions. Mom and Dad was happy that she stopped being a brat and a crybaby so they thought of indulging her for once. They said it was a nice break once in a while.

I didn't like it though, because her birthday coincided with a gathering I had originally planned to attend. I told Mom and Dad over and over that I wouldn't be able to go, but they said that I should prioritize my sister. It made me angry. I honestly didn't like Serena before, because she always acting like a rich and snobby princess at school which made our classmates hate her. I didn't want to be hated so I made it a point to ignore her too. No one actually bullied her, so I thought it was alright. I was thinking it was her fault anyway for being so arrogant.

That's why on her birthday, instead of celebrating together with my family, I woke up really early and came to my friend's house to celebrate his winning of a National level competition along with our other classmates. No one called me back so I thought it was alright. However, when I came back the next day, no one was in the house. Not one maid nor guard. Every single one of our servants was on leave. Usually, one or two cleaners will be left, and of course there was supposed to be a guard.

That day, the house was as quiet as a mouse.

I was scared, so I called my parents but they wouldn't pick up. I called Serena too, but her phone just kept ringing and ringing…

Our property was wide, so our neighbors were a few hundred meters away. I was thinking of going to my friend's house and borrowing a uniform for school when I heard Serena's ringtone from inside the house.

I didn't even think, why would Serene be home? The trip was supposed to be three days and two nights. I simply knocked and yelled for her to open the door since I didn't usually keep a set of keys with me.

"Serena! Open up!"

The ringtone was cut off abruptly and the door knob turned.

What I first noticed when the door opened was her bloody arm. There was three knife wounds on her wrist which are dripping blood on the carpet. Next was her other arm, which was holding a tiny bread knife covered in red, trembling slightly. Her face looked like a ghost to me. Her usually pinkish cheek devoid of color and her normally expressive eyes devoid of emotions. Her lips are turning quickly to blue, and her hair long silk hair matted with blood as if a bloody hand ran through it repeatedly.

Her usually clear voice croaked, "Brother? Is that you?"

 **V. Redemption**

It turned out that Mom and Dad had an emergency so the trip was canceled, but the servants haven't been informed. They said they thought I was home so they left a note that said to take care of my sister. They said we'd go to the trip once they cleared their schedule. It was pretty irresponsible, wasn't it? But the truth is, Mom and Dad was never the best parents. They were always busy so I guess I understood why Serena was always acting the way she did. She wanted our parents' attention. There was once a time when I was just like her, always throwing tantrums everywhere, but let's just say I grew out of it. Serena never did. And it seemed she started vying for my attention too, that's why she always bothered me. I always shut her out though, because I wanted friends.

I noticed that she didn't have any friends, however, she annoyed me so I left her alone. I thought that once she grew tired of being a brat, she could find friends on her own. It never crossed my mind that she could be thinking of killing herself.

When the ambulance came, they found me and my sister outside of the house. I was crying and apologizing over and over. Serena fainted and was lying on my lap, looking very much like a dead person. I held her hand and tried my best to stop the blood from pouring out of her wounds but I was shaking so bad it couldn't have made a difference. When Mom and Dad came, they found me I had changed into the uncomfortable clothes the nurses gave me and Serena was in Emergency undergoing treatment.

I was so out of it. I was still saying sorry in my head, and Serena's ghostly pale face and bleeding hands wouldn't get out of my head. I couldn't even register Mom's cries and Dad's pacing, Serena was all I had in my head.

I knew I was at fault, at least partly, so I tried to atone by being nice to my sister from then on. Mom and Dad made sure to give us more of their time too, we were suddenly put at the top of their priority list when before we weren't even there. We were all traumatized.

However, we were surprised because Serena woke up completely like a different person. She wasn't angry, she wasn't even depressed like we expected, but it seemed she forgot all about the incident. The first question she asked was, "Why am I in a hospital? Did I faint or something?"

Mom and Dad was so overwhelmed. I couldn't possibly know what they were feeling, but it seemed to me like they were relieved because Serena didn't seem suicidal at all. In fact, she was happy. It bothered me how much she changed though, she was so sweet to me as though she wasn't extremely hostile until a few days ago. She kept calling me "Lu" in a sickly, sweet voice and even started calling Mom and Dad "Mother" and "Father". When we asked her things, she would say really outrageous stuff like how 'Lu and I have always been very close, he loves me more than anyone" and "Mother always cooked really delicious food, didn't she? I want to taste them again!" I seemed she had fake memories of the past that we didn't know of.

Mom was adamant not to remind her of the truth, however. She ordered all the maids to simply go along and told Dad and I to be like the Father and Lu in her delusions. Dad suddenly became the model father and I became the best twin. Mom even learned how to cook and braid hairs so she can match the Mother in Serena's mind.

For two years, we were all playing as dolls while Serena moved us.

 **VI. Dark core**

The Lucas in Serena's mind was insanely perfect. He was bright and blond so I even had to dye my brown hair. He was nice to everyone, good at sports and always aced his exams, which was all true and easy except he didn't have a club so I had to quit mine. Serena said we have always gone to school and went home together, so I couldn't hang out with my friends even if I wanted to. I had to practice an angelic smile every day even in front of the teacher I hated and decline confessions from each and every girl that came up to me. My social life went extremely downhill.

In exchange, I got an extremely well-mannered and cheerful sister. I also got to be closer to my Mom and Dad. We always went into family trips and Serena and I would go into weekly dates. She was extremely agreeable, except when she saw me talking to other girls. Once she did, she would ignore me for a week and I had to serve her like a slave. It was actually nice, because I genuinely love my sister, and it makes me feel good when we get along just like how it makes me feel extremely frustrated having her hate me. She is my only sister after all, and a twin at that.

It is fun going on trips with her and playing around, I really enjoy spoiling her too because her smile is the real angelic one, and I like seeing her face when she's overcome with glee. It makes me wonder why I haven't been doing that until recently. Thinking about all the years I wasted pushing her away makes me want to cherish her all the more. I treated her like a princess, almost worshipping the ground she walked on and put her on a pedestal I couldn't take her off of. She became the most special girl in my eyes, the only one, until my reason for rejecting girls became "I wouldn't" instead of "I couldn't".

Going out with a girl who isn't Serena was pushed out of my mind.

I couldn't care about anyone who isn't Serena.

I served her like a dog. I woke up every morning just to see her face and slept at night wanting to dream of her. It was escalating so fast I didn't even know I was thinking of my future with only Serena and me.

It wasn't healthy. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't right!

 **VII. Theory and application**

Serena and I aren't blood-related. I found this out during that incident when not one of us, Mom, Dad and I, matched the blood needed for Serena's transfusion. The Doctor had to find another volunteer. I asked Mom and she told me, "We adopted her when she was a baby because we knew her parents. Her mother was my friend and she asked me to take care of her daughter should anything happen to her. We labored the same day, and she died from giving birth. Instead of adopting her, we passed her off as your fraternal twin to avoid the long process."

It was laughable.

Theoretically, I can take Serena as my wife and no one would have the right to complain. Look! We aren't related! It's just a silly joke of fate to put make our mothers best friends and make them give birth in the same hospital and the same day. Ideally, I can fight for this feeling that I have for my sister. I can confess and make her run away with me. It's obvious that she's completely dependent on me because I made her that way. I turned her from a girl who couldn't live without her family to a girl who couldn't do anything without her brother.

But it's not that easy, because that curse I made goes both ways.

I turned from a normal boy with an annoying sister to an extremely complicated teenager lusting over his sister.

There are a few possible explanations. Maybe because I was forbidden from liking other girls that's why I turned to the only girl I can like who I knew isn't my blood-related sister. Maybe it's just my manly instincts trying to protect the girl who is so completely dependent on me. It could also be puberty, trying to make me attack the female species which just coincidentally happened to be my sister's race.

It makes sense that it's just because of the situation. It's just because of the situation, right? I'm not really in love with her.

I'm not supposed to be.

I'm supposed to be 'normal' good-looking boy with more than a few admirers. Around this time, I should already have my eyes on someone. There are a lot of girls in the world. If it's just puberty, it doesn't have to be my sister.

It doesn't have to be my sister.

Then, who shall it be?

While I was pondering about that, my childhood friend Elisa came up to me and confessed. She was so embarrassed her face looked like a tomato. She was almost in tears. I thought of it. Normally, Elisa is what boys my age would consider cute and girlfriend material. She has a pretty face and a refined elegance you can only get by being born into the elite society. She isn't dull to be with, and her shyness can actually be considered attractive. She has good specs, nice background family and school-wise and I've known her since third grade. And, she has big boobs. Isn't that the trend?

I didn't feel anything towards her at all since I was comparing her to my sister the whole time who was the epitome of cold, queen-like beauty. Elisa wouldn't even light a candle to Serena. Serena is tiny for her age but she has a proportional body, not too much breast, just slender enough to be huggable. She has the prettiest face I've seen too, and even my classmates agree. Her eyes are like carefully polished ebony and her hair is like a curtain of silk. Her skin is as fair as snow and her lips are as luscious as roses in full bloom. With that appearance, it was really hard to turn my affections somewhere else.

Still, I had to. That's why I went out with Elisa.

It was all for my sake.

The news of our relationship circled around the campus, but Serena didn't react. I thought it was because she was fine with it which was odd in itself, and kind of hurt a bit, truthfully, but how was I supposed to know she wouldn't even hear of it?

How could gossip not reach her?

Still, seeing her right now, looking as emotionless as she did back then, it makes my heart tremble in fear. Please, please, don't make her hate me. I'll do anything, anything. I'll always stay by her side. I'll accept the agony of never being able to touch her. I'll never look at any other girls ever again. I'll be nicer. I'll cook better desserts and take her to better dates. I'll cherish her forever.

Just, please, Serena. Don't hate me.

I'll do anything.

 **Anything at all.**


End file.
